What's a Mom to do?

So it's 2:30 in the morning, pouring rain and my beloved husband has woken me up to tell me the one year old is crying because we are out of milk. I am wondering why she is crying for milk since she has been sleeping through the night for quite sometime without eating, so this is curious to me. I ask him to check her pants because I have a 7 yr old moaning next to me (she is a human garbage can that has cramps because all the crap she ingested the day before is causing constipation), so he is dealing with crying while I am handling moaning - so far we are the picture of teamwork. Now it all starts to go awry - he informs me that baby's pants are clean and he has put her to bed with a bottle of water. She is still screaming, and I mean she is MAD. The 7 yr old is moaning, and I can't do anything for her, short of taking her in for am emergency colonoscopy - which I am not dressed for. Mr. Wonderful volunteers to go get the milk , all the while using expletives that rhyme with mother truck, and ambling around our room in the dark, going near everything but the dresser. After listening to this for a few minutes too long, I opt to throw the 7 yr old on the toilet, tell him to handle that, and head out to the local convenience store in my snowman pj's. I come back armed with lunchables, milk and some diet coke (provisions for the morning) and am told by the husband that the 7 yr old was grunting so hard she threw up all over the bathroom. Finally he gets the older one in bed after she is cleaned up and the baby is still screaming even after she got a top off of fresh milk, and I ask him again, is the baby wearing clean pants. Again, I am told he already checked them and she is clean. Finally I ask him to bring her in the bed with us, and low and behold, she isn't in the bed 2 minutes and I can smell the poopiness coming off of her. The moral of the story is: If I would have dealt with the poop storm, I could have avoided the rain storm. Live and learn!